Thursday, September 22, 2011

10 Things You Can't Wear With Your Children

I read this article from and thought it was very accurate! I could definitely add a few more items to the list!

1. White. Sure, white is the new black this season (or whatever, all my fashion magazines are buried under my stack of parenting magazines) but unless you plan on never letting your kids hug you, pat you, kiss you or wipe their noses on your shoulders then you should do your best to not look like a human Kleenex.

2. Slippers. Kids are slipper addicts and they'll do anything to support their habit, even stealing them off the cold toes of the mother who is cooking them breakfast at 5 a.m. because dawn is too fun to miss when you're new to this world.

3. Sky-high heels. I love wearing heels. But unless you're Victoria Beckham (with her attendant nannies), 6-inch stilettos and babies don't mix. Even if you have the balance down pat, throw a tantruming toddler into your arms and you're one sucker punch away from a twisted ankle. Not to mention you can't sprint after a runaway, they're terrible in sand and wood chips and you run the risk of skewering little fingers that always seem to be hovering around your feet.

4. Belts with metal buckles. Whether you're holding your toddler on your hip or putting down your pre-schooler after a big hug, sharp metal buckles dig in, scratch and pinch when you're least expecting it.

5. Rings with pokey-outie stones. Yes this includes pretty much all wedding rings but the corners of the stones and the prongs end up scratching tender skin, snagging on little clothes and getting poo-encrusted during blowouts. But hey, now's your chance to try out the "16 and Pregnant" look!

6. Earrings. They're two dangly shiny objects right at eye level! And now they're two bloody wounds!

7. Mittens. Just try buckling a little one into a car seat, tying teeny weeny shoe laces or opening a granola bar with mittens on. (Although they are great for impromptu nose wiping!)

8. Maxi dresses. Anything loose or flowy will cause random strangers to ask your baby if he is getting a little brother or sister. It's a risk you run when you have a kid: People automatically assume you're capable of having another at any moment and with no advance warning.

9. Baby carrier t-shirts. You've seen those "funny" tees that look like they have a baby strapped in a carrier on their front. Perhaps you've even worn one in an attempt to look hip or to make a subtle social statement. Wear one once you have an actual baby and people will starting wondering if you're having some kind of break with reality.

10. Tops with "shelf bras." Hahahahahahahhh! Oh, Victoria's Secret, that was a funny one.


  1. I can think of another one... Any top with a zipper. Your toddler will not let go and keep on play with the zipper up and down.

  2. If you breastfeed and wear anything low cut, you run the risk of your child exposing you in public. DS has definitely caused me to accidentally flash unsuspecting grocery shoppers. Don't think they expected to see that kind of "melon" at the store that day!

  3. Ha Ha, my son tries to hide under my maxi dresses!!!